There's a reason I'm not a poet


Over the past few weeks I’ve discovered I have a gift. All the way through my teenage years and (ahem) potentially a little bit further I’ve wanted to wake up one day and realise I have a superpower. Sadly that hasn’t quite happened, but I have noticed there’s something I seem to be naturally very good at, better than those around me.

Finding free food.

Whether it’s four weeks of all-you-can-eat four star hotel breakfasts, boxes of chocolates, meals bought by your parents, free cooked lunches complete with a selection of cakes or baked goods made by your friends, I have eaten very well over the past few months. I’m thankfully lucky with my genes, in that I haven’t piled on too many pounds, but it has had the negative consequence that when I see food I now have the uncontrollable urge to eat as much as is physically possible. And then some.

My friend recently introduced me to the Georgian word ‘shemomedjamo’, a term used to describe my way of life for the past while

If they’re able to create words for glorious things such as this, I’ve decided I fricking wanna learn how to speak Georgian. But apart from that I’ve also made another decision: to try and fight this greed by going a month without eating desserts, biscuits, chocolate, cake- basically any kind of sugary goodness. Not because I’m worried about becoming a giant ball of flab (regardless of how incredibly likely that is when my metabolism catches up with me) but because I want to regain a bit more control over myself.

I’m trying to tell lots of people what I’m doing in the hope that the pressure of other people knowing my aims will ensure I don’t slip up and eat a whole packet of eight iced fingers alone to myself just because they were reduced to under a pound. Again.

That all being said, I’ve decided to include two exceptions: desserts at formal (I won’t be going too often but if I’ve paid money for dessert I’m going to eat it) and the advent calendar that starts in December. Because hey, I’m giving up sugar, that doesn’t mean I need to give up happiness.

I’ll need to try and fight the temptation to go to town over the next month on things like this

and anything else that jumps out at me, such as

Hmm. I should be alright. Hopefully. Maybe. As a kid my sisters and I would grab the sugar bowl, hide behind the sofa in the living room and just go nuts. So it’ll be like fighting quite a deep-seeded part of myself. And goodness knows that always works out well. Let’s just hope my newly discovered gift doesn’t present me with too much temptation.



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